Birthday thoughts of a faggot

March 29 is my birth day. In Malayalam it is Meenam 16.  I have been watching with interest these two days quarrel with each other almost every year. This time English came first followed by Meena came next. Birthdays may come and go every year. Is it not a supposition that birth days are significant in one’s life? In one sense, birthday gives us new hope and encouragement and inspires us to work harder than the previous year. In another sense it is a reminder of the “inevitable hour” that is slowly but certainly stalking behind us like a ghost to take you to the churchyard where all human glory and achievements are buried forever.

 In my childhood days I had many dreams and aspirations.  When I grew up I tried to correct the mistakes of my parents, just as every young fool. But alas, these corrections have boomeranged upon me and I learned the bitter truth that Fate is a villain not only in Oedipus’ life but in every human being, he is a destroyer which will make you upside down.  Although I gave better education to my off-springs  and made all arrangements for a better life for them with the hope that they would bless me, but all my dreams are broken to pieces and I am still struggling hard to make both ends meet in my winter season, and trying to get back my own hard earned titles and rights for a just living. Is it the mistake of the children or society or gods?  Absolutely NO. It is the work of that age old villain called FATE who destroyed the life of Oedipus and many thousands of other innocent people in the past. We certainly need research on it. Now I am being made a laughing stock. May be it is my illusion, just as a famous (would be) Cardiologist said, that every old man who has undergone bye-pass surgery will have such derelictions!   I know you can’t believe it!! But you must believe when you become Senior Citizen! You should be aware of the young muzzle powers, their brain power, their faculty and the lightning speed of their blows and the consequent lies they spread around them and even your wife will not support you. Woman is always woman. She supports the young cubs against the toothless and lame old lion .When yellow leaves fall, it is great fun for the green leaves! They laugh forgetting their future. This is the fate of every Senior Citizen in the Computer Age. My two brothers had gone before their off-springs started fluttering their wings in this digital world. So their children are lucky! Less luggage leads to more comfort is the wise policy not only in Railways but in every journey of life in this “utility age”.

 On this occasion I am grateful to my beloved father who had given me newspaper (Deepika) to read when I was barely five year old and thus cultivated my reading habit, which later helped me in my education and in my teaching career. In my younger days the lorry driver was a fool for me and I tried to correct his mistakes when I grew up,  but now when years of bitter experiences opened my inner eyes,  I found my beloved Achachan my guiding star, although passed mildly away twenty six years ago! I pay my tearful tribute to him on this occasion. My feelings and nearly fading out dreams are better expressed by my favourite poet Robert Frost in his thought-provoking poem

“ Woods are lovely dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep”                                                                                                                               kjt/29-03-2017