Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Painful thoughts - K. J. Thomas

Painful thoughts
In my childhood days marriages were arranged by and with the blessings of the parents and elders and they were held at home. It was a festival for all the family members, kith and kin and neighbors took active part in the in the dressing, cooking of vegetables and food items. It was a time of reunion, discussion, renewing of friendship and love. It was joyful occasion for everyone in the family. But those days of love and peace are gone forever. Most of the couples during those days were hardly SSLC or below, but they loved and respected each other and they had the feeling of empathy, and their married life lasted even after their deaths, because at that time marriage was solemnized in heaven which was their hearts full of love for each other and not in the posh hotels or auditoriums!
But today everything is upside down with the emergence of new generation styles, new technology and prosperity enhanced material wealth and splendor but spiritual side vacuum! Today the guests are invited on line or mobile phones to a decorated auditorium where a hired anchor supervises everything. All are strangers eating at an unknown hotel. Children of lower middle class got education thanks to the hard work and dedication of their poor parents who dreamed of their children to become doctors, engineers and IT professionals, and the generous bank loans in the educational field helped their dreams fulfilled. But their joy was short lived.  In our local auditorium, out of sixty marriage ceremonies held, around forty five couples were divorced, which is a reliable information given to me by a busy catering contractor. 
 These youngsters began to draw more than five figure salary with all the perks available to the professionals in different fields, thought of themselves superior to all and looked upon their parents as mere faggots and conducted all the arrangements from advertising to marriage by themselves in hi-tech manner dealt by the professional event management companies. Parents and siblings became ‘onlookers’. Even many months before the marriage ceremony, the couple had opportunities to be familiar with each other in various counseling centers, religious and social occasions.  They went on tours to “know” each other in the lap of Nature.  When marriage is over, the freshness and vitality are also over and boredom creeps into their lives. Hardly had two years passed by when they came to the Family Court, accusing each other of various crimes such as ‘domestic violence’, cheating and perjury.’ They now consider each other nothing but a crushed lime pod. They want something new! They need divorce. The actual beneficiaries of such new generation marriages are lawyers, tourist centers, hotels and of course mobile and event management companies.

  Their parents, by this time have crossed the rank of ‘Senior citizens’ are left in the lurch. They are a neglected lot and they go back to their work - old auto-rickshaws, or selling fish door to door in order to buy medicine and food. As these professionals always live in the material world of modern technology, they cannot follow human values of love, obligations and morals. If they cannot love their own parents, how it is possible for them to love an unknown man and woman who comes to their lives a few days ago in the disguise of bride and bridegroom. Love is spiritual, spontaneous and divine. It blooms just like red rose or lotus in the water. It needs patience, tolerance, understanding and above all a feel of empathy towards his/her partner. It is not so easy, because it must come from the mind as ‘manna showered from heaven’ to Israelites long ago.                                                                                                Kjt/29-03-2016

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